“When it enters, in a few years, the sign of Aquarius, psychologists will have extra work to do, and the psychic idiosyncrasies of humanity will enter into a great change.” - H.P. Blavatsky"

"There are symptoms of psychic changes that always appear at the end of one Platonic Month(Astrological Age) and at the beginning of another" - Carl Jung

The soul needs an outer drama that can help awaken & pull into conscious awareness the inner myth & seeded story it carries within" -M Meade

"Forms are the symbols of formless divine principles; symbolism is the language of nature."- Manly P. Hall

"Every visible object, every abstract thought, every emotional reaction is but the symbol of an eternal principle.""-Manly P. Hall

Monday, September 14, 2009

My Re-Birthday, Mythical Narrative, and flow of Selves. Futurama?

I would like to share one of my most recent and profound real time synchronicities that Ive experienced in August during some serious Rainbow flow I was experiencing. This synch experience spoke to me in so many ways and is so directly connected to how I got to be where I am now and how I got involved in this work and it also links directly to the subjects that Ive began to understand that I feel Im being lead to right now. So here it goes, this post is all about me, excuse me if its a bore, this is a personal narrative and it has proven to have been a great process of reflection. Saturn and Uranus are in the Sky again tonight/today, things feel right.

Im going to start with what was meant to be but turned out not to be so short biographic explanation of the person that I was 4 years ago and how my experiences then led me to where and who I am right now. And what Futurama had to do with it most recently.

When I turned 18 in February(Aquarius*) of 2006 I was playing in a do it yourself hardcore band in New York, I had just met my Soul Mate and Girlfriend, and had dropped out of my senior year in Highschool. I identified myself with and was involved with the Radical Activism and Do It Yourself Punk community pretty actively for a few years. I was at the time also struggling with some weighty youthful depression and or misplaced anger and had a mysterious abdominal illness for 4 years previous. The illness was undiagnosable but from what my doctors and the internet said it could have been what is known as Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome is said to be somewhat like Migranes of the Abdomen, Seasonally like once every 3 months I would wake up in fetal position with a sickening and terrible pain in my Abdomen where I now understand is my 3rd Chakra called Manipura is. I just read recently that this Chakra is where Anger can come from, and it is also the seat of the intellect, it is the connection between our Intellectual mind and our physical body, like having a Gut feeling. I now understand my depression was caused by misdirected Anger, I had a big heart, and nowhere to put my Anger it seemed. Im a very pascifistic "hippy" type, Ive broken up more fights than Ive ever been in, I do think I look a bit serious on the outside, yet Im full of Love. My Mayan Guatiao ( soul brother) and Teacher has nicknamed me Racoon for just these reasons. Now this was definatly more than a Gut feeling though, this pain was like having a Knife twisted into my intestines, I would be delirious with agony, sweating and having visions of pain and suffering, even images likened to Hell or Dantes Inferno, screaming faces, blackness redness and suffering, very bad place. I would go through this pain for about 8 hours until Id finally begin vomiting and losing everything in my system and I couldnt hold anything down, I would just wait for myself to basicaly pass out from exhaustion and would wake up the next day able to consume again and try and recover.

Leading up to this time I was going through this period of depression and experimenting with alot of diferent and often unhealthy chemicals "Trip" explore and "dissasociate". I started with lovely Morning Glory Heavenly Blue seeds that I could shoplift from a local Agway store, those trips were some of my very best and first self realizations, epiphanies and beutiul aesthetics, very good for me. But those went out of season and I wanted more experiences and I was broke so I was doing weekly experiments with all sorts of drugstore items like Robotussin (dxm), Dramamine(diphenhydrinate), Benadryl, yuuuck the list goes on. These experiences amounted to a mass of new experiences and emotions and mental landscapes and processes. I was pretty messy during this time, a young punk kid, getting wasted, being destructive, dumpster diving, quitting my job, good fun etc. One trip I definatly nearly overdosed, I experienced what I can only described as the feeling that someone had a loaded gun to the back of my head for a full day. It was pure terror in my body and mind, I was shaking uncontrollably, a pin drops sound could send terror through my whole being, I couldnt speak, i was breathing sporaddically, and I was talking to people and going to places that did NOT exist. (including what years later I would find out were already called "Self Transforming Machine Elves", though my elves were made of voidal darkness and were actually picketing instead of building and working) So for the whole day I lost my entire self, I was nobody I was just a terrified point of awareness, I felt like a terrified baby. Luckily this experience drifted off at the end of the day, I was not unaffected by it unfortunatly, I lost alot of energy, my personality became very "spacey", I would even have Deja Vus that would give me instantanious fears of impending death, those were the worst.I felt I lost what i now would consider heart chakra energy at that time as well, I feel I became more introverted. Now in a good way when I came out of this I was SOOO greatful, more than ever to be alive, and not to be experiencing the sheer terror of self Annihilation. Later in the day I came back into my body, remembered who my friends were, remembered that I was who I AM, and was thankfully brought to a party full of all my good friends at my bands practice space where more and more of my old reality seeped in to renew me. That day was the first time that I DIED. I no longer was the same personality that I had until that point, I lost a bit of my old self that was bright and uppidy and always socially vibing, but I had also lost the self that was selfish, disconnected, attached to pain, and ungreatful for life itself. I felt however a very strong new connection to my self, to my non verbal inner and eternal self and an appreciation for peace of mind and body.

Most important considering that my blog is now focused on Synchronicity these days, during that time I became obsessed with Coincidences that were happening to me especially those during and around my tripping experiences. To make an example on my 18th birthday feathers fell on me from the Sky as I talked to a friend about starting what would be my last Robotussin trip ever, we ended up talking about how many birds are killed by Commercial Airplanes, and then about Flight. Randomly at the Stroke of Midnight when I turned 18, I found myself outside an Airport watching many Planes take off in the Night. I was tripping so it blew my mind because I remembered talking to my buddy about planes before starting, and flight felt like it was resonating with entering a new legal age and stage in life, as I symbolized the next day with a Septum piercing that I always wanted. I ended up getting sick on the way home that night, and vowing to never use OTC medications to trip again. I went home and watched Pink Floyds( the Wall come to think of it. This experience and many others like it during the time were really blowing my mind, I cant make this post too long, but I was talking about my coincidences so much that people were getting concerned and telling me that I needed to chill out. That was the begining of what I feel started this type of a Shamanic personal path for me, I began to understand that my experience would be mine alone and that my journey would be a personal and self determined process.


But before those periods my "self" was going through a process of inner and outer reflection as well, I guess "reality" in some sense was setting in, and I was no longer just a young punk kid. I was not a spiritual person in a sense that I felt connected to the living universe, I felt connected to Nature strongly, and a strong heart felt connection to struggling peoples movements and such around the world, but "God" in any sense to me was not perceivable. I was planning on dedicating my life to defending Nature from the Industrial Apocalypse and the errors of Civilization and hoped to find other folks who were seeking a Post Civilization society(I still hope to in other ways). I was reading lots of "Green Anarchist" literature, John Zerzan, Daniel Quinn, Kevin Tucker, Derrick Jensen, etc. Much of the concepts, and lifestyles expressed by these writeres is also expressed through the radical diy punk and hardcore scenes that I was very connected to at the time as well. I was also getting involved with above ground yet controversial Animal and Earth rights activisms for a while. These new realities that exist outside and inside of this Cultural matrix to me confirmed my personal feelings of disdain with Government and civilizations unstable means of existence and with inequality and suffering, I began to realize that Civilization itself was not a real reality, but a man made reality of its own, and my experiences until that point had shown me that it looked like this man made Civilization was at its Carrying Capacity and on the verge of self destruction. So my apocalyptic feelings drew me even closer to exploring the themes of how to live post civilization and I was becoming concerned with how to organize and network toward these means of alternative and post industrial lifestyles.

It was with these feelings of Apocalypse that lead me toward beginning to identify with the culture of HOBOS*(youll understand the capitals* later on) and Squatting, TRAIN HOPPING*, revolutionary culture and decentralized anarchist communities like Crimthinc. and the Green Anarchy Collective and other primitive post-counter Civilization oriented groups whos events we had attended here and there. So the Summer that I would have graduated from Highschool my Girlfriend and I decided to go on a ROAD TRIP*, this trip was going to be all that I and her (a huge Beatnik fan) had dreamed of. We took the "Beat Route" from Kerouacs "On the Road" from NY, to Chicago, to Denver, to San Fransisco, and then to my personal choice of the Green Anarchist Mecca in EUGENE OREGON*. We had synchs and angels in every city along the way, lots of blessings, I dont wanna get into unimportant details so Im going to skip the whole of our trip to the west coast, and just mention the important parts. We ended up in Portland after EUGENE* and from there we were going to camp on a mountain with another couple our age who we happened across in a park, they were also seeking the road life and trying to find a new path. But we get on the Mountain in the center of Portland, and the couple realized they lost their Legal Info, IDs Bus Tickets all of it. So we go back to the Greyhound station and happened to loose this couple. Feeling sorta tired and just about done with Portland we decided to jump on a 3 day Greyhound back to Philadelphia where a punk Festival was happening. On the lat few hours arriving in PA, my Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome* decided it was about time for the Summer Episode. So beginning to feel this familiar Agony set in, we walked all over Philly with our huge backpacks tryign to find Hostels, Hotels, Squats, anything, and Nobody could help us, the Hostel gave us water but had literally no room on the floor for us, the hotels were full. So we decide well just lay out a Tarp in a Park and crash out there. In terrible pain and knowing this terrible episode was starting, I tried to sleep it off. I finally fell asleep but was awoken by my panicked Girlfriend who sensed that we really needed to find me some help and we couldnt just wait in this park all night. So we decide to start looking for a hospital. A Cabbie points us toward it and didnt even offer my miserable lookin booty a ride. I got there, I was given a needle to stop the Vomiting and the pain, which it did I was amazed. They tested my blood and White-Cell count was 3x higher than normal, they gave me a quick Catscan that revealed my body was rejecting my Appendix. I was rushed into Emergency Operation and it was during that moment again that I DIED. The thought of never waking up, never seeing my girlfriend or my family or this reality ever again gave me a feeling that I knew this was all happening for a reason, every moment of my life, including the Illness, the Depression, my Soul Mate, and the Trip, all of it lead me right there, and I knew that I was supposed to be there and supposed to WAKE UP!!! Upon awakeneing I was a totaly different person, I was alive, ready for life, ready to do anything Including get a Job and participate in the "Civilization" that I hoped to leave behind, all of my childish ideas and attachments to pains and everything left me, I knew that EVERYTHING here is happening for a reason. I was reborn again! and this time I really had a most positive and spiritual awakening rather than a total loss of Selfhood. SO it was on the date August 10th 2006 that I marked my first Rebirth Day. The Date happens to be 6 Months to the day that my Soul Mate and I had our first date, and we had planned to get some kind of cute tatoo or something or another the day that my episode kicked in too. Our 6 month anniversary ended up becoming a spiritual Bond that both of us would never forget. So my Rebirth Day is what this post is really about, and here I want to explain how this event is directly connected to the Synchronicities that Ive been sharing VIA my blog right here. This RebirthDay is one of the foremost causative forces that has brought me toward the person I am today.

SO, Synchronicity has increased in frequency, potency, intricacy, intelligence, and witness since my days as a young Pharmanaut, and if your a reader of my blog you would know that RAINBOWS have been a strong focus of my work, along with the Number 42.

This August 10th 2009 on my Rebirthday, I was feeling great, had a pretty normal wonderful day, at the end of the day Futurama was on the Television while I happened to be Blogging about Michael Jackson and the Rainbow Bridge and my girlfriend said to get my attention "Rainbow!".














Tin Man (Jupiter and Tin symbol resonating # 42, Tin=Intellect and the Element of Air/Aquarius) Bender gets offered to Space Train Hop with some HOBOS* in the Episode "30% Iron Chef."















And they end up Jumping off the Train As it Reaches a PRISM* which breaks off into seperate tracks and the Hues of the RAINBOW BRIDGE!*















Moments later the Hobos and Robos land on a planet when Bender is told "This is called Bum Base Alpha", Bender Replies with " Ive seen Bigger, no wait that was EUGENE OREGON*!


These scenes are from 7:10-8:23 during the Episode can watch here.

So if you read all of that I aplaud your attention span, I hope that wasnt too scattered, Im thankful to be here with you and to be able to share these things. That was a breif summary of what I now understand is my developing personal mythical narrative. I hope to hear more of these kinds of stories out there in the blogosphere, I feel this is a powerful and primal way of connecting to "our selves", reflecting upon our selves, and identifying the flow of our selves, there will be many! and there is Only (n)One. As we are also that which simultaneously Observes and animates our plural Selves. Happy Aquarian Cycle day*, G<3d> Bless all of you, Namaste - Kevin

Update: While working on this post, an Important Synch character from the videos I put together this Winter the Dog Star and the Rabbit Hole- Patrick Swaze passed on today, RIP.


19 comments:

"C" said...

My main goal in my "Magic" is that I use NO DRUGS, weed beer or anything I think thats my calling. I am learning how to reach these places without anything so eventually anyone who is "drug free" can have a profound experience. Not that I find anything wrong with drugs or tripping that way. Even if I smoke a tidbit of weed I wind up giving shit away to people (Guitars, action figures, expensive shit, lol).


Futurama has always been sync heavy for me every since the birth of my first son. I did a tiny post about that on my regular blog when I first started it. I just watched one the other night that was also super syncing (the basketball one with his brother Yancy and the Lucky Clover) cause of all that clover & basketball shit over at my private blog.

Also I have a few sync numbers and there is only one number i chose random to see what it would throw back at me and that number was (42) and all that shit I am running into about the rainbow (got a post with more coming up soon) and what you just said about the 42 being the number of the rainbow (I will look into further) really resonates with me personally.

If you haven't joined my private blog already please do s, just drop me an email for permission. I have recently cut off my forum blogging to concentrate on it more cause i got so much shit and about 10 to 50 profound syncs happen to me a day now i can't keep up to share like I would like to.

A Few Shots to Shaman said...

You have a beautiful way with words.

Indras Net said...

"C" Thanks for sharing, I am actually a member of your private blog Ive really enjoyed what Ive read so far! Im lookin forward to getting more read as I get some free time. I stopped using man made medicines for health and for exploration when I was 18, since those days Ive had a seasonal relationship with Pcilocybin that has been very healing. Im also very close with Mary Jane. Im glad to hear your trying to really channel your energies sober. I think a revisiting with some of our plant friends throughout life is always healthy though ;). Im lookin forward to reading more at your blog, thanks for reading and sharing! Be very well, Namaste - Kevin


Will- Thanks brother! This was a new kind of post for me, thanks for your kind words, Im lookin forward to chattin more! Talk to you soon man, be very well, Namaste - Kevin

sfauthor said...

Nice posting. Do you know about these chakra books?

http://www.YogaVidya.com/freepdfs.html

RYAN (7 Cauac) said...

Great story. I recognize parts of it from my own life. DIY punk, rebellious youth. I grew up in Sedona (Anasazi land), but moved to Portland which began my punk phase. I spent quite a bit of time in Eugene going to shows at WOW hall (to see Swingin' Utters, Rudiments, Subhumans-Citizen Fish etc...). I don't listen to the chaotic sounds of the punk scene as much anymore, but that energy has shifted from angst to self-enlightenment; as I say "selfish goals with selfless intent"- for the good of the many. I trained as an Industrial Designer, but my inner desires have taken over and I seem to focus more on immaterial things. I guess I see solutions coming in the form of knowledge as opposed to contrived materialistic solutions.

I also used to get bad abdominal pains when I was about 10-12 years old; caused insomnia. They faded with time though.

It's weird that my synchs have been lining up recently for alot of people. My insight and awareness has opened upon tremendously. I get the "basic" 11:11 as well as 111, 222, 1234, 33, 333 so on, and in all forms of reality: books, watches, signs, cabs, addresses on buildings, odometers, file sizes(mb), etc... Also have more Déjà vus recently. Seems the meaning of things has revealed another side for many people; at least the ones who have the "eye" for it.

Anyways, it's been a little while, but I try to reveal my observations/insights on my blog when I have a chance.

So anyhows, I resonate with your ideas quite a bit. Keep up the great posts!

BTW/FYI, 42 was Fox Mulder's apartment number.

Indras Net said...

Thanks for your feedback and insights Ryan! Its funny I dont really listen to nearly as much punk and hardcore music as I have in the past, but I still wear my favorite Tragedy shirt weekly, I still love the music and spiritually resonate with it, but it doesnt embody the whole me, i know you dig. Thanks for sharing your interestingly similiar stories, 42 has been a friend of mine for over a year now, last winter I put this video together if your interested in checking it out.
http://liveinchapelperilous.blogspot.com/2009/02/follow-42-dog-star-and-rabbit-hole-part.html

Thanks for sharing! best wishes, Namaste

Jake Kotze said...

Lovely.

Glad you've found the bridge.

Peace In

"C" said...

My son was just watching that ep, lol. One of the train carts said "Baltimore & Orion" on the train. Fits right in with one of my many post I am planning!

PS I am from Baltimore!

Right On TQO

"C" said...

PSS Just noticed it was 11:14 when I went to my kitchen so i came back to see what time I dropped this post after skimming through the guys numbers above. 11:11 PM (my time eastern) BONUS POINTS!

Corbeau said...

Thank you for sharing.

Found the story interesting.



peace

ViølatoR said...

Thanks for sharing your personal journey with us. Good thing you see your "rebirths" as more than medical phenomena, most people don't learn from the events in their lives and would stay stuck on whatever level/chakra they're on.

I had abdominal pains (muscle spasms or sleep paralysis type things) when I slept sometimes, and I figured out that they were caused by a necklace I bought which was supposed to resonate with my natrual frequency (and hold it there so external forces couldn't affect my frequency). Only a small percentage (4% I think) of people who wear the necklace complain of symptoms - usually heart tightening, which I felt while awake sometimes with the necklace on. Not sure what that all means... maybe I'm not ready for something, or I'm already past that something and the necklace was dragging me back to a lower frequency?

Anyhoo... I don't have any amazing life story that people would enjoy reading, so for now they'll have to be content with my ramblings. But I do enjoy reading about other people's journeys.

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